Why Is My Ex Avoiding Me Like The Plague? - Magnet of Success (2023)

So, so many dumpees wonder “Why is my ex avoiding me like the plague? Did I do something wrong? Why is my ex acting like a stranger to me when we’ve been together for x number of years?”

If you’re asking yourself these questions because your ex is avoiding you at all cost, I have the truth for you—and it’s not pretty.

I hope the information provided in this article brings you clarity and doesn’t end up hurting you badly. If it does, I apologize, as it’s not my intention.

My ex avoids me when he sees me

Even if you’ve been nothing but friendly, respectful and gave plenty of space, oftentimes, exes will still avoid you like the plague.

Avoiding you could happen when exes notice you in public and they walk right past you, acting as if you don’t exist.

When your ex sees you, he or she could avoid you by:

• looking at the floor
• pretending to talk to someone
• quickly walking the other away
• showing you his or her back
• refusing to acknowledge your comments
• avoiding eye contact
• having others talk to you in his or her stead
• making plans without you in a group of people

Please note that dumpers aren’t evil, nor are they awful human beings. Our exes avoid us for reasons which aren’t even related to us. We simply assume that exes are avoiding us like the plague because of something we did to them.

I can tell you that’s not the case. Your ex doesn’t avoid you because he or she hates you or wants to punish you for your mistakes. It’s nothing of that sort. That would be very vengeful and morally wrong on so many levels.

Dumpers do, however, have the victim mentality and blame the dumpees for the end of the relationship. But more often than not, they don’t become the bringers of karmic justice themselves.

Instead, they behave how they feel—even if it appears impulsive or mean to others.

My ex is avoiding me like the plague

When your ex avoids you at all cost, your ex does so because he or she is scared of interacting with you.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, “Scared of what? My ex avoids me when he/she sees me and doesn’t show any signs of fear, anxiety, depression or anything like that. My ex is just happy and I’m miserable!“

The answer is in the last statement – “happy and I’m miserable.” When dumpers are happy, they are guilt-ridden and unbelievably happy with their breakup decisions. So when they encounter their dumpees, they freeze—not knowing how to act and react to the situation.

Their first thoughts are, “Is my ex as miserable as a while back? How will my ex react if I speak to him/her? I don’t know what to say. I feel uncomfortable so I’ll just pretend I didn’t see my ex today and avoid him/her at all cost.“

When dumpers finally walk past the dumpees, they stop holding their breath and their heart rate lowers. Dumpers are then so glad their predicament has ended, they feel amazing just to be able to breathe again.

Dumpers are not depressed, they are happy. They aren’t hopeful they will encounter their exes either. It’s quite the opposite. They hope they won’t see their exes when they are out in the public so you can imagine how it makes them feel when they finally do.

Since dumpers don’t want to speak to dumpees, they instead avoid them and save the embarrassment.

These are the breakup effects for dumpers and dumpees have no control over them.

Why is my ex avoiding me?

Now that we know what goes through his or her mind when your ex avoids you like the plague, let’s now examine why your ex is avoiding you with utmost haste.

It’s actually pretty simple. Your ex avoids you because he or she is disinterested in conversing with you. In other words, talking to you would make your ex feel “awkward,” hence why avoiding you seems like the wisest idea.

Hypothetically, put yourself in the shoes of a dumper and imagine that you’re breaking up with your partner. Set your wounded, emotional state aside and believe that you really can’t stand your partner. In your mind, he or she is the absolute worst. The connection sucks, sex is bland, you have nothing in common, families don’t get along, you barely spend any time together and you don’t feel anything toward him or her.

Since you have been meaning to break up for weeks, you finally manage to do it and you feel as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and got replaced with feather-light relief. Now that you have nothing holding you back, you feel as if you’re levitating toward a new beginning.

This is how your ex feels post-breakup. Your ex believes that he or she can find someone that will make him or her happier.

Since your ex is 100% convinced that the breakup is a good idea, your ex doesn’t want you near him or her and avoids you like the plague.

Does our history mean nothing to my ex?

Just how you’re not concerned with the troubles that bothered you 3 years ago, your ex isn’t worried about how you made him or her feel in the past. It’s the present that matters to your ex – the here and now.

The reasons for the breakup haven’t conceived years ago when the relationship was as smooth as butter. They developed months or weeks before the actual breakup and, coincidentally, put a huge strain on your ex’s mind.

The pre-breakup struggle which consists of unresolved pre-breakup emotions weighed your ex down for as long as your ex could stand them. And when your ex lost the internal struggle, powerful emotions took over your ex’s body and mind and the breakup occurred.

Although your ex may appreciate how he or she felt at the beginning of the relationship, your ex wasn’t happy toward the end. It may or may not have been your fault, but your ex definitely felt trapped enough to break free of his or her confinement to get some air.

This air—which is space and freedom, your ex craved so badly that it felt satisfying and liberating.

It’s like wanting to go to the amusement park so badly for so long and then you finally get to go. Once you get there, positive emotions come rushing into your system, replacing the negative ones.

A weak mindset

You see, the post-breakup happiness your ex feels is not related to you and how you made your ex feel, but rather the mentality your ex had developed in the relationship with you.

One thought turned into another and another and another until your ex felt the need to run and avoid you.

You can’t really blame yourself for the way your ex feels toward you. It’s an obstacle your ex had conceived on his or her own. That’s why it’s not your responsibility to solve your ex’s thought patterns.

Try to imagine for a minute how you would have felt if you were stuck in some horrible relationship for a month—not knowing whether to move forward or backward. You’d likely have developed appalling emotions toward that person as well.

Now, your relationship likely wasn’t that bad, but the thoughts your ex had thought about were. Everything begins with thoughts as there are no emotions without thoughts,

Breakups are not a knee-jerk reaction and they happen for a reason—due to thoughts.

So if your ex wants to avoid you because of his or her weak mindset, then perhaps it’s for the best. Think of your ex’s mental strength as a weak one and let him or her crawl past you if that’s how your ex deals with difficult situations.

It’s not that bad when your ex avoids you!

When your ex avoids you at all cost, he or she saves you from something much, much worse. If your ex didn’ avoid you when he or she saw you, your ex would likely have ignored you instead.

We all know how much being ignored hurts as it truly diminishes our ego and makes us feel undeserving. Breakups are a great example as they replicate a similar feeling of unworthiness.

Being ignored is basically another deliberate rejection which dumpees shouldn’t encounter again in such a short time. That’s why you should consider being avoided by your ex a blessing compared to being ignored and rejected again.

I know it feels awful when your ex pretends like you never existed, but trust me when I say that it doesn’t feel nearly as awful as being completely ignored.

Getting ignored would likely have set you back to the day of the breakup, when being avoided by your ex, quite literally— helps you avoid the problem.

How do I make my ex stop avoiding me?

If your ex avoids you when he or she sees you, then I suggest you take the passive approach. Let your ex avoid you like you’ve got some transmissible disease while you pull your attention on yourself.

Stay away from your ex at all cost or your ex is likely going to ignore you—which is going to hurt like hell. Indefinite no contact is your solution to most of your post-breakup problems.

Instead of embracing the pain, make your ex stop avoiding you on his or her own terms. This implies you must let your ex be for now while you focus fully on your own happiness.

If you don’t let your ex be and instead try to force your ex to talk to you, you will never get anywhere. You will only make your ex feel less toward you and delay the time it would otherwise take for him or her to stop avoiding you.

If you see your ex in public

So what do you do when you see your ex which dumped you and is ignoring you or avoiding you like the devil?

You do only two things:

1. Smile
2. Walk past him or her

And that’s it. If you’re certain your ex doesn’t wish to engage in a conversation or can’t stand your face at the moment, whatever you do, don’t react negatively. Smile instead!

Smile, smile, smile!

It may not be easy to smile when you still want your ex back or at least have him or her acknowledge you as a human being, but it’s necessary.

Smiling shows you’re okay and happy and happiness is contagious.

Smiling shows him or her you’re friendly, relaxed and easy to get along with. It will also tell your ex that you lowered your expectations of him or her post-breakup and that you care about yourself.

React positively

Reacting positively and giving your ex little to no attention is what your ex wants anyway so give it to him or her. Nothing will make the ex that ignores you, avoids you or even hates you happier than not having to deal with you at all.

When you give your ex nothing but a smile, your ex could slowly begin to come to the bright side. Seeing you happy, respectful, and self-centered, could pique your ex’s interest and lower his/her guard.

Your ex could think, “Why the sudden change? I’m the happy one as I did the dumping. Why is my ex smiling from ear to ear?“

Just how negative thought patterns got you into this mess, positive ones can get you out. But for that to happen, your ex needs a lot of time.

If you want your ex back and he or she is avoiding you, my suggestion is not to demand. Instead, allow your ex to do as he or she pleases until your ex decides to come back. And once your ex is back, take the power of no contact back into your hands and make your ex work hard to keep you.

Is your ex avoiding you like the plague or perhaps even ignoring you? Share your story below.