Why Is My Ex Avoiding Me Like The Plague? - Magnet of Success (2023)

So, so many dumpees wonder “Why is my ex avoiding me like the plague? Did I do something wrong? Why is my ex acting like a stranger to me when we’ve been together for x number of years?

If you’re asking yourself these questions because your ex is avoiding you at all cost, I have the truth for you—and it’s not pretty.

I hope the information provided in this article brings you clarity and doesn’t end up hurting you badly. If it does, I apologize, as it’s not my intention.

Why Is My Ex Avoiding Me Like The Plague? - Magnet of Success (1)

My ex avoids me when he sees me

Even if you’ve been nothing but friendly, respectful and gave plenty of space, oftentimes, exes will still avoid you like the plague.

Avoiding you could happen when exes notice you in public and they walk right past you, acting as if you don’t exist.

When your ex sees you, he or she could avoid you by:

  • looking at the floor
  • pretending to talk to someone
  • quickly walking the other away
  • showing you his or her back
  • refusing to acknowledge your comments
  • avoiding eye contact
  • having others talk to you in his or her stead
  • making plans without you in a group of people

Please note that dumpers aren’t evil, nor are they awful human beings. Our exes avoid us for reasons which aren’t even related to us. We simply assume that exes are avoiding us like the plague because of something we did to them.

I can tell you that’s not the case. Your ex doesn’t avoid you because he or she hates you or wants to punish you for your mistakes. It’s nothing of that sort. That would be very vengeful and morally wrong on so many levels.

Dumpers do, however, have the victim mentality and blame the dumpees for the end of the relationship. But more often than not, they don’t become the bringers of karmic justice themselves.

Instead, they behave how they feel—even if it appears impulsive or mean to others.

My ex is avoiding me like the plague

When your ex avoids you at all cost, your ex does so because he or she is scared of interacting with you.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, “Scared of what? My ex avoids me when he/she sees me and doesn’t show any signs of fear, anxiety, depression or anything like that. My ex is just happy and I’m miserable!

The answer is in the last statement – “happy and I’m miserable.” When dumpers are happy, they are guilt-ridden and unbelievably happy with their breakup decisions. So when they encounter their dumpees, they freeze—not knowing how to act and react to the situation.

Their first thoughts are, “Is my ex as miserable as a while back? How will my ex react if I speak to him/her? I don’t know what to say. I feel uncomfortable so I’ll just pretend I didn’t see my ex today and avoid him/her at all cost.

When dumpers finally walk past the dumpees, they stop holding their breath and their heart rate lowers. Dumpers are then so glad their predicament has ended, they feel amazing just to be able to breathe again.

Why Is My Ex Avoiding Me Like The Plague? - Magnet of Success (2)

Dumpers are not depressed, they are happy. They aren’t hopeful they will encounter their exes either. It’s quite the opposite. They hope they won’t see their exes when they are out in the public so you can imagine how it makes them feel when they finally do.

Since dumpers don’t want to speak to dumpees, they instead avoid them and save the embarrassment.

These are the breakup effects for dumpers and dumpees have no control over them.

Why is my ex avoiding me?

Now that we know what goes through his or her mind when your ex avoids you like the plague, let’s now examine why your ex is avoiding you with utmost haste.

It’s actually pretty simple. Your ex avoids you because he or she is disinterested in conversing with you. In other words, talking to you would make your ex feel “awkward,” hence why avoiding you seems like the wisest idea.

Hypothetically, put yourself in the shoes of a dumper and imagine that you’re breaking up with your partner. Set your wounded, emotional state aside and believe that you really can’t stand your partner. In your mind, he or she is the absolute worst. The connection sucks, sex is bland, you have nothing in common, families don’t get along, you barely spend any time together and you don’t feel anything toward him or her.

Since you have been meaning to break up for weeks, you finally manage to do it and you feel as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and got replaced with feather-light relief. Now that you have nothing holding you back, you feel as if you’re levitating toward a new beginning.

This is how your ex feels post-breakup. Your ex believes that he or she can find someone that will make him or her happier.

Since your ex is 100% convinced that the breakup is a good idea, your ex doesn’t want you near him or her and avoids you like the plague.

Does our history mean nothing to my ex?

Just how you’re not concerned with the troubles that bothered you 3 years ago, your ex isn’t worried about how you made him or her feel in the past. It’s the present that matters to your ex – the here and now.

The reasons for the breakup haven’t conceived years ago when the relationship was as smooth as butter. They developed months or weeks before the actual breakup and, coincidentally, put a huge strain on your ex’s mind.

The pre-breakup struggle which consists of unresolved pre-breakup emotions weighed your ex down for as long as your ex could stand them. And when your ex lost the internal struggle, powerful emotions took over your ex’s body and mind and the breakup occurred.

Although your ex may appreciate how he or she felt at the beginning of the relationship, your ex wasn’t happy toward the end. It may or may not have been your fault, but your ex definitely felt trapped enough to break free of his or her confinement to get some air.

This air—which is space and freedom, your ex craved so badly that it felt satisfying and liberating.

It’s like wanting to go to the amusement park so badly for so long and then you finally get to go. Once you get there, positive emotions come rushing into your system, replacing the negative ones.

A weak mindset

You see, the post-breakup happiness your ex feels is not related to you and how you made your ex feel, but rather the mentality your ex had developed in the relationship with you.

One thought turned into another and another and another until your ex felt the need to run and avoid you.

Why Is My Ex Avoiding Me Like The Plague? - Magnet of Success (3)

You can’t really blame yourself for the way your ex feels toward you. It’s an obstacle your ex had conceived on his or her own. That’s why it’s not your responsibility to solve your ex’s thought patterns.

Try to imagine for a minute how you would have felt if you were stuck in some horrible relationship for a month—not knowing whether to move forward or backward. You’d likely have developed appalling emotions toward that person as well.

Now, your relationship likely wasn’t that bad, but the thoughts your ex had thought about were. Everything begins with thoughts as there are no emotions without thoughts,

Breakups are not a knee-jerk reaction and they happen for a reason—due to thoughts.

So if your ex wants to avoid you because of his or her weak mindset, then perhaps it’s for the best. Think of your ex’s mental strength as a weak one and let him or her crawl past you if that’s how your ex deals with difficult situations.

It’s not that bad when your ex avoids you!

When your ex avoids you at all cost, he or she saves you from something much, much worse. If your ex didn’ avoid you when he or she saw you, your ex would likely have ignored you instead.

We all know how much being ignored hurts as it truly diminishes our ego and makes us feel undeserving. Breakups are a great example as they replicate a similar feeling of unworthiness.

Being ignored is basically another deliberate rejection which dumpees shouldn’t encounter again in such a short time. That’s why you should consider being avoided by your ex a blessing compared to being ignored and rejected again.

Why Is My Ex Avoiding Me Like The Plague? - Magnet of Success (4)

I know it feels awful when your ex pretends like you never existed, but trust me when I say that it doesn’t feel nearly as awful as being completely ignored.

Getting ignored would likely have set you back to the day of the breakup, when being avoided by your ex, quite literally— helps you avoid the problem.

How do I make my ex stop avoiding me?

If your ex avoids you when he or she sees you, then I suggest you take the passive approach. Let your ex avoid you like you’ve got some transmissible disease while you pull your attention on yourself.

Stay away from your ex at all cost or your ex is likely going to ignore you—which is going to hurt like hell. Indefinite no contact is your solution to most of your post-breakup problems.

Instead of embracing the pain, make your ex stop avoiding you on his or her own terms. This implies you must let your ex be for now while you focus fully on your own happiness.

If you don’t let your ex be and instead try to force your ex to talk to you, you will never get anywhere. You will only make your ex feel less toward you and delay the time it would otherwise take for him or her to stop avoiding you.

If you see your ex in public

So what do you do when you see your ex which dumped you and is ignoring you or avoiding you like the devil?

You do only two things:

  1. Smile
  2. Walk past him or her

And that’s it. If you’re certain your ex doesn’t wish to engage in a conversation or can’t stand your face at the moment, whatever you do, don’t react negatively. Smile instead!

Smile, smile, smile!

It may not be easy to smile when you still want your ex back or at least have him or her acknowledge you as a human being, but it’s necessary.

Smiling shows you’re okay and happy and happiness is contagious.

Share your smile with the world. It’s a symbol offriendshipand peace.

Christie Brinkley

Smiling shows him or her you’re friendly, relaxed and easy to get along with. It will also tell your ex that you lowered your expectations of him or her post-breakup and that you care about yourself.

React positively

Reacting positively and giving your ex little to no attention is what your ex wants anyway so give it to him or her. Nothing will make the ex that ignores you, avoids you or even hates you happier than not having to deal with you at all.

When you give your ex nothing but a smile, your ex could slowly begin to come to the bright side. Seeing you happy, respectful, and self-centered, could pique your ex’s interest and lower his/her guard.

Your ex could think, “Why the sudden change? I’m the happy one as I did the dumping. Why is my ex smiling from ear to ear?

Just how negative thought patterns got you into this mess, positive ones can get you out. But for that to happen, your ex needs a lot of time.

If you want your ex back and he or she is avoiding you, my suggestion is not to demand. Instead, allow your ex to do as he or she pleases until your ex decides to come back. And once your ex is back, take the power of no contact back into your hands and make your ex work hard to keep you.

Is your ex avoiding you like the plague or perhaps even ignoring you? Share your story below.

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Why does my ex avoid me like the plague? ›

If you're wondering "Why is my ex avoiding me like the plague" rest assured that it's not about you, but your ex's mindset. Your ex is avoiding you because he or she doesn't know how to deal with his post-breakup emotions and instead chooses to react on impulse.

What does it mean when your ex avoids you? ›

If your ex is ignoring you, it could be because they're just trying not to give away mixed signals or bring up things from the breakup that are better left unsaid. Or they could also be sensitive to anything that you might bring up yourself and may be protecting themselves from any more hurt feelings.

How do you know if your ex isn't over you? ›

Signs to look out for:
  1. They're giving mixed signals.
  2. They blame you for the breakup.
  3. They're angry with you.
  4. They're keeping in touch with you.
  5. They flirt with you.
  6. They're bringing up memories.
  7. You still have some of their things.
  8. They're sabotaging you.
Jun 27, 2021

How do you know if your ex is heartbroken? ›

How to Tell Your Ex Is Hurting After the Breakup
  1. He's in denial.
  2. He disappears and is completely unavailable.
  3. He tries to communicate or interact even more.
  4. He jumps into a rebound relationship.
  5. He trash talks you.
  6. He makes big life changes.
  7. He flirts openly in front of you.
  8. He seems lost or depressed.
Jul 31, 2022

Why does an ex want revenge? ›

Personal Revenge

Because of those feelings of loneliness and abandonment, they may be willing to risk everything in order that the justice they seek is done. They are driven to preserve their honor and self-respect at any cost so that the partner who has harmed them suffers as they have.

Why do exes go silent? ›

Radio silence simply refers to the act of being distant from your partner in order to make him come back to you. When done the right way, it allows your ex to miss and crave you more. It reaffirms and reawakens the feels he has for you, compelling him to come back.

Why does an ex avoid eye contact? ›

Avoiding eye contact may indicate lack of interest, avoidance, denial, or awkwardness. If you try to have an honest conversation with you ex, but he or she continues to be fidgety and avoiding your gaze, your ex may not be ready to talk with you yet.

What does it mean when your ex goes no contact? ›

The no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup, and it's the best method for moving on from an ex. No contact should last for a minimum of 60 days, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media.

How do you know if he regrets letting you go? ›

Here are some of the signs your ex regrets dumping you.
  • They begin to communicate with you.
  • They apologize for the breakup.
  • They show more affection.
  • They discuss issues in their present relationship.
  • They try to atone for past mistakes.
  • They show pessimism when you tell them someone else is involved.
  • They stalk you.
Jul 8, 2022

How do I make my ex realize his mistake? ›

Hence, listed below are some quick tips on how to make him realize he made a mistake so that he would come back to you and would promise to not repeat it.
  1. Stay away a bit. ...
  2. Don't argue at all. ...
  3. Never ever talk about past experiences. ...
  4. Focus on yourself. ...
  5. Be the future you.
Jun 11, 2020

Does my ex miss me even though we don't talk? ›

Yes, an ex misses you during No Contact. They miss you because they no longer have what they used to have. Your ex misses you even though you don't talk because they have time to adjust to your absence. This will help them reflect and miss you more.

How do you know if someone is still stuck on their ex? ›

They go out of their way to contact them. "If someone makes excuses to reach out or bump into their ex long after the relationship has ended it's likely that they are not over them," Cullins said. "They may be looking for closure or to reconnect, but in either case they are still drawn to their ex."

How to make your ex miss you? ›

How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup
  1. Do Not Try To Contact Them. ...
  2. Do Not Receive Their Calls And Respond To Their Texts. ...
  3. Reinvent Yourself. ...
  4. Meet New People And Make New Friends. ...
  5. Talk To Their Friends. ...
  6. Check Out The Outside Dating World. ...
  7. Take A Vacation. ...
  8. Be Active On Social Media.
Dec 13, 2022

How a man feels when he hurts a woman? ›

When a man hurts a woman he loves, he feels emotions such as anger, guilt, frustration, self-loathe, fear, etc. Although he may not express his feelings confidently, a man will show signs he is sorry for hurting you or signs he knows he hurt you.

What is the best revenge on an ex? ›

The Healthy Way to Get Revenge on Your Ex
  • Take A Break From Social Media. ...
  • Find A New Hobby. ...
  • Spend Time With Loved Ones. ...
  • Focus On Your Career. ...
  • Volunteer For A Cause That's Important To You. ...
  • Online Therapy to Improve Mental Health After A Breakup. ...
  • Takeaway.
Jan 13, 2023

Is silence the best revenge to your ex? ›

Silence speaks volumes

The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.

Why is my ex distancing himself? ›

It could be that your ex has moved on to someone new and that is why he is maintaining his distance. It could be something he is choosing to do himself, out of respect for his new relationship, or maybe even out of respect to you (if he's a good guy and doesn't want to hurt you.

How do you accept a relationship is over? ›

How to accept your relationship is ending: 11 effective tips
  1. Allow yourself to grieve. So, how to get over someone you can't be with? ...
  2. Share your feelings. ...
  3. Stay productive. ...
  4. Write about it. ...
  5. Amp up the self-care. ...
  6. Make new routines. ...
  7. A closure ritual.
Apr 29, 2022

Why do dumpers act so cold? ›

When you are looking at why the dumper is acting cold towards you one possible explanation is that it might be a defense mechanism to stave off feeling sadness or shame. Remember, human beings are very pain averse and that's doubly true for emotional pain.

What kind of person avoids eye contact? ›

What kind of people avoid eye contact? Psychopathy, PTSD, and alexithymia (sometimes known as “emotional blindness”) are often associated with greater discomfort with eye contact. So are neuroticism, shyness, social anxiety, and autism.

What does it mean when someone avoids looking at you? ›

Hence, when a person avoids eye contact, it means they don't want to engage with what's in front of them or that they want to engage with something else. This 'desire for a lack of engagement' with an object is the core reason behind almost all the reasons for avoiding eye contact.

How do you know your ex is thinking about you? ›

If your ex is trying to contact you, or maybe even trying to speak to you at weird hours, then it might be a sign they still think about you. Another big sign is social media. If they somehow didn't get rid of you via an unfriending or straight block, it might mean they miss you.

How long does it take for dumpers to regret? ›

Generally speaking, some dumpers regret their decision to break up only weeks after the incident. Other dumpers need years to feel that way. And some never even arrive at the final stage of dumpers remorse. Instead, they move on to someone else — be it a rebound or not.

Do dumpers miss their ex? ›

In most cases, if you give your ex enough space, they will at some point miss you. Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to get on their hands and knees and beg for you back. For some the “missing emotion” can be fleeting.

What to do when he cuts off communication? ›

What to do when someone cuts you off in a conversation
  1. Think about your communication style. ...
  2. Address interruptions before you begin speaking. ...
  3. Ignore the interruption. ...
  4. Stop talking. ...
  5. Ask for feedback about your communication style. ...
  6. Discuss the interruptions at a later time. ...
  7. Use nonverbal communication. ...
  8. End your presentation.
Feb 3, 2023

How long will it take him to realize he messed up? ›

Men often go through an emotional state called “Dumpers Remorse” after the woman finally goes away. This state hits after one month to six weeks after the man passes through the initial happy phase after a breakup. He starts to give away signs he knows he messed up the whole thing from that time.

How do you know to let him go? ›

  1. 7 Signs It Might Be Time to Let Go.
  2. You Feel Anxious When You Aren't Together. ...
  3. You Don't Feel Like Yourself. ...
  4. You're Giving Way More Than You're Taking. ...
  5. You and Your Partner Keep Score. ...
  6. You Suspect Your Partner Is Gaslighting You. ...
  7. You Make Too Many Excuses for Them. ...
  8. You've outgrown the relationship.
Aug 19, 2022

How do you make your ex regret losing you? ›

If you've been dumped, it's natural to want to make him regret his decision.
How To Make Your Ex Regret Leaving You
  1. Follow the no-contact rule. ...
  2. Give him what he wants. ...
  3. Move on. ...
  4. Get strong again. ...
  5. Don't take him back.
Dec 18, 2022

How do you make him regret ignoring you? ›

15 tips to make him regret ignoring you
  1. Express your feelings (to him) One of the most direct ways to learn how to make him regret ignoring you is by being upfront about it. ...
  2. Get your story straight. ...
  3. Be less available. ...
  4. Spend time with friends (especially mutual friends) ...
  5. Block him. ...
  6. Pursue other options. ...
  7. Conclusion.
Mar 21, 2022

How do you make someone Realise your absence? ›

6 psychological tricks to make anyone MISS you
  1. 01/7Look sharp. Always work on your looks and dress well. ...
  2. 02/7Make them miss you with these tricks. Want someone to miss you in your absence? ...
  3. 03/7Your scent. ...
  4. 04/7Be a bit mysterious. ...
  5. 05/7Become active on social media. ...
  6. 06/7Being independent. ...
  7. 07/7Leave something behind.
Feb 6, 2022

Can an ex regret leaving you? ›

The good news is that regret after a breakup is completely normal. Often when faced with an emotional situation like a breakup human beings have this tendency to romanticize the past.

How do you test if your ex wants you back? ›

20 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
  1. They Make Attempts To Stay In Touch. ...
  2. They Keep You Updated. ...
  3. They Get And Want To Make You Jealous. ...
  4. They Pretend That They Need Your Help. ...
  5. They Keep Bringing Up Your Memories Together. ...
  6. They Tell You How Far They Have Come. ...
  7. They Keep Checking With Mutual Friends About Your Well-being.
Dec 20, 2022

How do you know you will never hear from him again? ›

19 Signs He Will Never Come Back
  • It Ended Terribly. Some relationships end in a way that makes it impossible to patch up. ...
  • One or Both of You Said irrevocable Things. ...
  • It Was an Inevitability. ...
  • He's Not the Same Person. ...
  • You're Not the Same Person. ...
  • His Track Record Isn't Promising. ...
  • He Ignores You. ...
  • He Blocks You on Social Media.
Apr 19, 2022

Can an ex miss you but not want you back? ›

Someone can miss you but not actually want to get back together. They may think you're great, claim to be crazy about you, or miss the things that ensured they got their needs met, but they don't miss you that much.

When we miss someone can they feel it? ›

Definitely, not all people but some people can sense it, especially empaths. An empath or someone you're in sync with can catch your vibrations easily and this can often clue them into what you are thinking or feeling.

Why can't I get over my ex who treated me badly? ›

When you're attached to someone who mistreats you, it's not easy to just get over them — even long after the break-up. You suffer from cognitive dissonance, which means you hold contradictory beliefs that cause you psychological stress — “They're good, I like them” vs. “They mistreat me, I shouldn't like them.”

What is Breadcrumbing from an ex? ›

What Is Breadcrumbing? Breadcrumbing is when we're shown tiny bits of interest or affection at a time from someone, whether they're a romantic suitor or an ex – but not enough for us to assume interest. They might send an out-of-the-blue text or leave a flirty comment on our latest selfie or invite us out to coffee.

What is obsessive ex syndrome? ›

The personality profile of this obsessive ex is an immature and self-centered individual who, in the relationship, constantly craved or demanded attention and affection. Emotional blackmail — crying, threats of self-harm, inducing guilt — may be used to control a partner during a relationship.

What are the signs of a jealous ex? ›

How Can You Tell If Your Ex Is Jealous? (5 Subtle Signs)
  • She catches up with you. You've started to move on, but your ex contacts you. ...
  • She spies on you. Often, after a breakup, the person who initiated the breakup cuts all ties. ...
  • She is trying to make you jealous. ...
  • She's trying to make you regret the breakup. ...
  • She misses you.

Why do dumpers send breadcrumbs? ›

They might have an innocent reason, like a desire for friendship they don't quite know how to communicate. Sometimes, though, breadcrumbing from an ex can also suggest an attempt to maintain control or rekindle your interest, particularly if you ended the relationship.

Why is my ex sending me mixed signals? ›

Your ex might be sending you mixed signals because they are experiencing confusion about how to handle the breakup. They aren't sure exactly how they are feeling yet and want to keep their romantic options with you open in case they decide they want to come back.

What is narcissistic Breadcrumbing? ›

Breadcrumbing means someone leads another person on by dropping small tidbits of interest—such as social media interactions, occasional messages, or brief phone calls.

Why am I so fixated on my ex? ›

You may be having these feelings due to something else, such as nostalgia. You may love the person you used to be, or love them for who they were. Other times, you have a personality that makes you obsessed. If you do want your ex back, and the feeling is mutual, then perhaps it's time to get back together.

Am I in love or obsessed with my ex? ›

Signs and Symptoms

Here are some signs or symptoms when someone is obsessed over an ex-partner: You ruminate, overthink things, and neglect important parts of your life. You can't talk about anything else but him/her. You feel confused, anxious, and/or despair.

How do I stop obsessing thoughts after a break up? ›

You'll find eight strategies to help you begin working through post-breakup anxiety below.
  1. Take time for yourself. ...
  2. Add mindfulness to your days. ...
  3. Keep a balanced perspective. ...
  4. Embrace your favorite activities. ...
  5. Spend time with friends and family. ...
  6. Prioritize self-care. ...
  7. Let go of the need to know why. ...
  8. Talk to a therapist.
Jan 14, 2021

How do you test if someone is jealous of you? ›

How To Tell If Someone Is Jealous Of You
  1. Jealous People Ply You With Insincere Compliments And False Praises. ...
  2. Jealous People Are Excellent Copycats. ...
  3. They Flaunt Their Successes, Often More Than Their Actual Merit. ...
  4. Jealous People Deliberately Give Bad Advice. ...
  5. Jealous People Love To Dish The Dirt On You.
Mar 6, 2023

What causes jealousy of an ex? ›

There are a few causes for retroactive jealousy, however, the two main ones are: feelings of insecurity (i.e. about your own looks or ability to please your partner compared to their exes) and having low self-esteem or low self-confidence.


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